NEW YORK, NY - After the spectre of another pandemic was raised by shocking reports of a new monkeypox strain, Pfizer announced they coincidentally finished their monkeypox vaccine yesterday.

"Wow, an unusually contagious variant of an old virus with unknown origins? Gee, that's strange!" said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla. "Well as luck would have it, our ten-year project to create a monkeypox vaccine coincided perfectly with the first cases showing up, just in time for our Q2 earnings report - er, I mean, just in time to save the world!"

According to sources within Pfizer, Dr. Anthony Fauci had awarded a Chinese lab an NIH grant a decade ago to begin researching how to make monkeypox more contagious. "I was so confused why we were intentionally making a virus more dangerous," said researche

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