Paramount Global is looking to settle President Donald Trump’s meritless lawsuit against its CBS News division—and the current proposal is terrible, even by Trump-era standards.

Broadly speaking, there are two ways for companies to get the litigation-happy Trump off their back: They can choose to give him millions of dollars in cash, or they can choose to give him millions of dollars in free services. Paramount is taking a different approach by reportedly offering both cash on the barrelhead, as other media outlets have, as well as millions of dollars worth of free services, a hallmark of recent law firm settlements with the administration.

Since bribery remains technically—and only technically—illegal, companies can’t just write the president an eight-figure check to secure some protect

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