How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

For the past several years, things have not been going well in my marriage. My husband is increasingly only interested in his hobbies. We don’t converse much except about the kids and managing our household; we no longer do things together like we used to, and our sex life is non-existent. It’s been three years since we slept together.

A month ago, I ran into a man I used to date in college, “Damian,” while at the grocery store. We decided to go over to Starbucks to catch up. I learned that Damian is divorced with a daughter who will be graduating from high school in June and moved to my city six months ago. It turns out that the spark betw

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