How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I came home early from work the other day to find my husband, “Leon,” in bed with a woman (we’re both men). Leon is bi, and I thought he had sworn off women after we got married. He said he didn’t think it was a big deal in light of the fact that we sometimes bring another guy in for some fun. Should I allow him to sleep with a woman every now and then so he can satisfy these urges, or is this grounds for ending the marriage?

—I Thought He Was Done With That

Dear I Thought He Was Done With That,

The gender of your partner’s partner is not grounds for ending a relationship. If that is the only issue you have here, I suggest you fall back a

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