Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I’m a hot sauce guy. About six weeks ago, my 9-year-old niece, “Kayla,” was at my apartment for the day while her parents took her younger brother to an appointment. I work from home so can easily—and happily—take care of Kayla at short notice.

When I made lunch for the two of us, Kayla saw me add some hot sauce to my plate (as I often do) and asked me what it was. I explained, and she asked if she could try some. I said that the particular sauce I used was probably too hot for her, but I got her a very mild sauce and let her try some. I told Kayla that if she felt it was gross or too hot she could always spit it out and I’d get her a glass of milk,

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