Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

The other day my 8-year-old daughter, “Samantha,” said she doesn’t want her mom, my wife, “Zoe,” taking her places anymore. She asked if I would take her instead. When I asked her why, she said that her mom had promised to take her shopping after school that day, but that it didn’t happen. The reason?

“Mom always says we’ll go, but it takes forever or we don’t go at all because she won’t get off the phone and it’s not fair,” she said.

Just before they were supposed to leave for the shopping trip, Zoe got a phone call. She spent until almost dinner time talking, so the trip ended up cancelled.

My wife does this to me with some regularity as well. Th

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