“People are sick of the rules of society,” Lavvynder says over the phone from their home in Salt Lake City on a recent Monday afternoon. “Monogamy has become the default. Straight cis gender patriarchy is the default. A lot of us want to do things our own way—not have a government or religion tell us what to do.”

I had asked Lavvynder, 30, who is trans nonbinary and practices polyamory, why they think “relationship anarchy”—an egalitarian philosophy and approach to dating—is getting more popular among young people. According to a new study conducted by the dating app Feeld and sex educator Ruby Rare, author of The Non-Monogamy Playbook , relationship anarchy is on the rise among millennials and Gen Z as a remedy to the loneliness epidemic.

Relationship anarchy (RA) is a relationship

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