The Pittsburgh Steelers have a legitimate issue at the quarterback position, with only Mason Rudolph and sixth round rookie Will Howard on the team (in addition to Skylar Thompson). And if there’s one spot you don’t want to find yourself in, it’s desperate at quarterback. You go out, hit the town all dressed up in your brand new DK Metcalf, you’ve spurned Justin Fields figuring you can do better, but as the dance floor clears out and you watch Sam Darnold head out and Geno Smith head out and your old ex Russell deciding to try to hit it big in New York, you realize it’s just you.

Well, just you, and this creepy old guy hanging at the end of the bar. He’s been there all night shamelessly checking out every team, sipping what looks like kombucha. You’ve heard him talk about his past explo

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