When I saw that the Falmouth Beach Committee wants to fine dog owners $500 for unleashed dogs, it got me thinking about what other more-affordable things I might do at the beach in winter to satisfy my criminal propensities, which have previously been assuaged by low-tide dog walks on cold winter days at Chapoquoit Beach (also known as Chappy).

Let’s start with littering: I wonder if I could dump a bag of trash onto Chappy Beach for less than a $500 fine. Graffiti on the Chappy seawall? I think that might be under $500 depending upon what it said or showed, I guess. I know I’ve seen unlawful discharge of a firearm offenders get off with what I thought was a pretty light penalty, but I don’t have a gun to bring to the beach. I could verbally assault or probably even physically fight someon

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