Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I just caught my 11-year-old son, “Micah,” smoking marijuana in our backyard. A search of his room uncovered lighters, four joints, a dime bag, and some rolling papers. Apparently my 18-year-old cousin, “Kyle,” has been sharing marijuana with him!

When I found out, I immediately drove over to my brother-in-law’s place and confronted Kyle and his parents. Kyle’s pathetic excuse was that he was “trying to do something cool” for Micah since he doesn’t have a lot of friends at school. He and his parents were very apologetic and have assured me it will never happen again.

I am so angry that I am considering filing a police report. My husband is vehementl

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