All couples fight , it's a given. But when relationship stress mixes with work stress, financial angst, and family flare-ups, little squabbles can morph into damaging arguments.

As a couples counselor, I've seen how unresolved, repetitive conflicts can create a culture of negativity, which can whittle a healthy relationship dynamic down to resentment, disconnection, and loneliness.

For over 50 years, psychologist John Gottman, along with his wife and fellow psychologist Julie Gottman, conducted hundreds of studies on relationships and communication. They identified four toxic communication strategies that can lead to breakups, separation, and divorce — a theory Gottman calls " The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ."

Couples who avoid these four communication pitfalls tend to have h

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