WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a new attempt to fight the pandemic, President Trump has unveiled his new coronavirus-seeking missiles.

"These new missiles will automatically seek out the coronavirus and blow it up," Trump announced to the press while a horrified Dr. Deborah Birx stood by. "Soon you won't have to worry about going outside anymore because there will be missiles flying everywhere."

Trump said he planned to implement the missiles immediately, though Birx sounded a note of caution. "There are probably a few issues to work out before we start launching missiles," Birx said.

This was a surprise to Trump. "What are you talking about?" he asked her. "This was your idea!"

Birx seemed confused. "How was this my idea?" she asked.

"I asked you if missiles would kill a coronavirus, and you

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