CORVALLIS, OR - Local advocate for all things noble Meridith Shoemaker was surprised to receive a ticket from the Corvallis Police Department last month. The citation was reportedly issued for "Failure to Virtue Signal During an Important Crisis."

"This is a one-time mistake, officer, I swear," Shoemaker reportedly told told the policeman who pulled her over. "I always remember to signal my left-leaning moral superiority during every newsworthy tragedy."

A brief perusal of Ms. Shoemaker's Facebook timeline and Twitter feed confirm her spotless record of virtue signaling. Both social media profiles feature a broad array of avatar overlays, condemnations of all that is evil and conservative in the world, as well as an adequate amount of self-righteous grandstanding.

Given her unstained hi

See Full Page