The president sat in the Oval Office Friday, praising the National Guard. In mid-August he deployed the DC guard to Washington, where they patrol the National Mall, keeping a careful eye on tourists — what tourists there are, considering visitors to the U.S. are down by 22%, a loss of $12.5 billion, thanks to America’s performative hostility to foreigners.

Fresh from that triumph, he said that Chicago is next.

Why us? Why are we so fortunate?

“The people in Chicago ...” the president said, “are screaming for us to come.”

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They are? Did I miss that? Who in Chicago, exactly, is screaming?

The president gave hints. Chicagoans who “are wearing red hats, just like this one.”

He himself was wearing a jumbo baseball cap emblazoned “TRUMP WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!” Part of his new

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