It’s a well-known fact that liberals refer to themselves as the “tolerant left” as evidenced by a meme I saw on Facebook. But if that was the case, how come my neighbor Kevin was not very understanding after I slept with his wife and took a dump on his lawn? Every single time that happens, their tolerance is nowhere to be found. If anything, he seems pretty livid right now.

Sure, by “slept with his wife” I mean begged her several times to sleep with me. Unfortunately, she rejected all of my advances to bone, so I did what any upstanding alpha male would do and snuck into their bedroom while they were having sex and sat in a chair in the corner to watch. I think they call that cucking someone. I cucked them real good.

After they caught me, they rudely kicked me out and threatened to call

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