How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m an AFAB nonbinary person in my early twenties, and I’ve been running into an issue lately, which is that I have been masturbating a lot . And trust me, I don’t think your version of a lot is the same as mine.

Let me back up, though. I am not interested in sex outside of a relationship, hate dating apps, and haven’t really been in any relationships (I’m a virgin). While I am interested in dating eventually, meeting people isn’t really a high priority right now due to some personal things I’m working through and how busy I am in other parts of my life. I’m generally fine with this status quo.

However, in the past six months or so, it’s gone f

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