Christians, you might have noticed, have their own unique way of talking that can seem like a completely different language. To help you translate, the Babylon Bee has compiled this handy updated guide to Christian phrases:

"The Lord laid it on my heart": I wanna.

"Let's take some time to posture our hearts before we start worship": The media guy can't find the lyrics slide.

"Please consider if the Lord might be leading you to volunteer in the nursery": There's literally no one watching your children right now, it's Lord of the Flies back there.

"Quiet time": Nap time.

"I think the Lord could use us as a couple to advance the Kingdom": You're hot and I'd like to make out with you.

"We really see God gifting you in a different area": You are awful at your job.

"I feel like th

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