A good cozy mystery is a gift to us all, but in the case of “The Thursday Murder Club,” a Netflix film adaptation of Richard Osman’s wildly successful novel of the same name, the gift is wrapped up in a bow so tight it’s strangling the film’s blood supply.

Retirees Elizabeth (Helen Mirren), Ron (Pierce Brosnan) and Ibrahim (Ben Kingsley) live in Coopers Chase Retirement Village, a former convent repurposed into what looks like the most enviable senior community on the planet. Spacious apartments! Art classes! Llamas!

Once a week, on Thursdays, this team assembles to solve cold case murders for fun because, you see, older people do more than just crochet. When recent arrival Joyce (Celia Imrie) stumbles on their meeting while showing her robotic hedge fund-manager daughter around the plac

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