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Notable attorney (O.J. Simpson, DJT, Jeffrey Epstein) and living raisin Alan Dershowitz planned to sue a farmers market on Martha’s Vineyard after a nonbinary, anti-Zionist vendor refused to sell him pierogi. They fought. He misgendered the vendor. A third party corrected him. The police corrected him. “That’s a matter between me and my grammarian,” Dershowitz said. He went back to apologize. He started another fight. The shortest, saddest story ever told: two pierogi, never sold.

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We now know the price of an American soul. Trump is ICE-ing down those student loans by offering a new forgiveness p

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