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Presiding over any one of the country's most prestigious institutes of higher learning can be a challenging task. While it is a tremendous honor to be given such a job, you will be responsible for the educational experience for tens of thousands of students, beholden to faculty and donors, and you may need to testify before Congress regarding virulent antisemitism on your school's campus.

If you're still interested in pursuing the position, The Babylon Bee is here to help with the following list of qualifications to get hired as an Ivy League president:

Be gay: Or at least be named Gay.

Have a below-average haircut: No one with a respectable, decent-looking hairdo will even be considered.

You throw up every time you hear the word "white": You have to ke

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