REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — Hunter Biden informed his father today that, due to an unexpected malfunction, he is going to be needing a new boat.

His prior boat apparently caught fire and exploded while going on a little outing through the southern Caribbean.

"The old boat, uh, died," explained Hunter to his father. "It's the darndest thing, you know? Just humming along in the Caribbean, on a dolphin tour, when... boom! It just blew up out of nowhere. So, yeah, I'm going to be needing a new boat pretty quick, before the drugs wear o -- I mean, before I get sad from losing my boat."

According to sources, Hunter had several friends on his old boat that he was really looking forward to seeing. "I'm super bummed to not get to see Juan, Julio, Juan, Eduardo, or Juan," said Hunter. "They were such go

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