Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so we’re diving into the How to Do It archives to share classic letters with our readers. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband and I (early 30s woman) recently opened our marriage a bit to include swinging and friends with benefits. Things are going well for the most part—I’ve found people I jive with and feel comfortable with, but I’ve run into a very embarrassing problem.

When I am with said people, we are both fully enjoying ourselves, but it is impossible for me to climax. At first, I thought maybe it was just nerves or my partner didn’t have a technique that matched my desires (not a problem, that’s where communication comes in!), but even af

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