WASHINGTON, D.C. - Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is busy celebrating her victory over the tyrannical Jeff Bezos and the horrible burden his company Amazon had planned to inflict on the people of New York City: 25,000 jobs.

"I thought it was a good thing that Amazon was coming to New York and wanted to give us money," Ocasio-Cortez told the press. "But then I found out they were going to extort people and only give them the money if they worked for it. Forcing people to work if they want to get paid -- how is that any different from slavery?"

A number of people tried to explain to her how that was different from slavery, but she just stared at them with incomprehension. "No one needs to work," Ocasio-Cortez continued. "We just need to tax the rich enough and we'll have enough mo

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