Iwoke up randomly this morning close to the moment Justin Bieber’s abruptly announced, hours-delayed Swag II became available on YouTube and ended up accidentally listening to the last song first. “The Story of God” is, simply put, the pop star’s Paradise Lost . It’s a nearly eight-minute me-and-my-wife-in-the-Garden-of-Eden spoken-word tale where Justin and Hailey as Adam and Eve betray God after a serpent makes them jealous of His powers. What was once horny abundance — “It’s a feast, right? / Everywhere you look, taste the explosion in your mouth,” Bieber narrates — devolves into chasmic heavenly heartache: “The verdict comes down: the world is broken now because we broke it.” All the while, the gooey ambient synths underfoot lean closer to New Age than gospel music.

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