When I was young, there wasn't nothing scarier than the Commies. They were out there, waiting to destroy all freedom and destroy all the world in a nuclear holocaust. You know, a real problem -- not like everyone worrying about it getting a couple degrees hotter because of some so-called global warming.

Now, we thought we ended Communism in the '80s, thought we strangled the last of them for their bad economic ideas, but we were wrong. Because we raised our kids wrong (part of letting everyone go hatless), they've started to embrace Communism. Suddenly we got Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in government -- full of Commie evil -- and the red menace is back.

Initially, I was excited. After Communism, we didn't really have a good enemy. No one thought them Islamic terrorists we

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