WASHINGTON — President Trump complained that the manual that details how to operate a fascist regime was “boring” due to the lack of images, according to frustrated staffers tasked with getting him to read.

“Look at this thing,” said Trump, dropping the thick volume on the Resolute desk. “Hundreds of pages to say what? Militarize this, consolidate that, scapegoat so-and-so. Believe me, I get it. People keep saying, ‘Sir, sir, you really need to read the playbook.’ Listen, I have one of the greatest brains. You need a world-class brain like mine to do the weave, as I call it. My uncle also had a world-class brain. He founded MIT, after all. This playbook, though…It’s just page after page of nothing but tiny little words. Would it have killed someone to write some pictures in there?”

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