SNOHOMISH — Managing editor Mike Henneke texted me an assignment: “Investigate an attempted murder in progress.”

Seemed a little heavy for the irreverent “What’s Up” beat.

What’s up with that?

Turns out the victim wasn’t a person. It was a tree in Snohomish — a famous, fashionable one.

“I got a tip somebody’s trying to kill the Shoe Tree,” Henneke said. “Bales of hay are stacked up around it, and it looks like it’s been sprayed.”

He wouldn’t name the source.

“He doesn’t want to go on record,” Henneke said.

Come on, dude. This isn’t Crime Stoppers. What’s he afraid of — that someone will hurl a size 10 loafer at his head?

The informant claimed he’d done “several drive-bys.” I opted for a proper stakeout.

The Shoe Tree stands along South Machias Road, across from the Centennial Trai

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