The eternal struggle: getting your family to church on time. No matter how many times you yell at everyone that you're all going to be late if you don't get moving this instant , you still end up slipping in just before the sermon starts.

Well, not this Sunday. Because this Sunday, you've got The Babylon Bee on your side. We always show up to church with full minutes to spare, week in and week out, by following these five helpful tips.

1.) Wake everybody up with enough time to get ready, like at 2 or 3 am . If our experience is any indication, your family takes something like 7 hours to get ready for church. Why not get everybody up with plenty of time to brush their teeth, get dressed, and browse Facebook for a few hours? 2 or 3 am should do the trick.

2.) Empty a tub of angry

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