SOUTHBRIDGE, MA — Local man Edgar Ramirez had finally had enough of feeling terrible all the time from doing nothing but lying around all day or sitting on the computer - so he finally decided to take up running every day, so that he could feel a different kind of terrible all the time.

"It's pretty great," Ramirez told reporters as he collapsed against a tree marking the third mile of his run/jog/walk this morning. "I used to feel so crummy all the time. Now that I took up running, I feel a slightly different kind of crummy all the time."

"The trade was totally worth it."

According to sources close to the 36-year-old construction sales representative, Ramirez no longer has a general sense of malaise and depression thanks to exercise. Now, his lower back, calves, and thighs ache for nea

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