Washington, D.C. - - Fresh on the heels of successfully deploying U.S. Marines and members of the National Guard to fight crime in Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., the White House is planning to execute more deployments.

These new missions, however, won’t be focused on Immigration and Customs Enforcement or crime, but on the President himself.

One White House staffer cites President Donald Trump’s ongoing frustration with local food delivery services. “The President’s McDonald’s order shows up lukewarm every time,” revealed the staffer. The proposed solution? Utilize Marines to ensure that those McNuggets, Filet-O-Fishes and Big Macs arrive in a timely manner on the President’s desk.

A golf pro at Mar-A-Lago disclosed that Marines could also soon be standing guard at each hole at

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