During his many years on The Walking Dead , Andrew Lincoln spent a fair amount of time fleeing shambling corpses. So he will have felt perfectly at home starring in ITV’s Coldwater – a braindead thriller about a man who is drawn into a deadly conspiracy with his creepy neighbour that lacks a pulse but aimlessly lurches ever forward.

In an interview to promote his return to the British small screen, Lincoln confessed he was “none the wiser” if Coldwater was a “a farce, comedy or thriller”. Welcome to the club, Andrew – at the end of the first episode, I am unsure if the Scotland-set series is pulling an elaborate joke. It can’t be this dreadful on purpose, surely? Is there a punchline I’m not getting?

It does start with a bang, though. Lincoln is John, a nervous dad whom we fi

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