×Art Kumbalek

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I offer an editorial disclaimer here at the top:

The essay you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the who-the-fock. It will be pack-loaded with just the facts.

And so for those of you’s who failed dictionary class back in grade school, allow me to lend a hand:

fe·cund adjective producing or capable of producing an abundance of offspring for new growth; fertile

“Keep and Bear Arms.” I don’t need no stinkin’ bear arms, what the fock Screw it, I prefer to keep bare arms, especially in the hot summertime/fall when I can wear a nice cottonish collared short-sleeve shirt when I choose to meander outdoors to the pharmacy to pick up my newest doctor prescription (daily M

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