WORLD - According to sources, scientists are no closer to figuring out how 12 ounces of coffee can become 6 gallons of pee within mere hours of enjoying your morning beverage.

Scientists who've spent their whole lives researching this problem are reportedly stumped and they refuse to try curing cancer until they figure it out.

"We've ruled out a hundred different variables. Even test subjects who've been fasting for three days suddenly have a full bladder after one cup of coffee," said Dr. Susan Sterlisch of UCLA. "The urine has to be coming from somewhere!"

With no conclusive findings so far, the international community is reportedly losing confidence in the reliability of the scientific method and threatening to cut funding for a number of different research projects.

"If they can't

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