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Did you know that there exists a country called The United States of America and that some people "founded" it? That's right! But now we know you're wondering who these racist white men are. So were we, until we looked them up on Wikipedia for you!
Here is your complete guide to the Founding Fathers.
1) George Washington: America's first president. Refused to be crowned King as he instead wanted to be called "Supreme Potentate of Time." Hated cherry trees.
2) John Adams: A fat guy. That's all the history books really say about him. Sad!
3) Thomas Jefferson: Though others share credit for the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson did most of the work, like that kid in your science class who does the whole school project by himself while you skate by and