Life is all about finding connection, and what better way to do that than through idle gossip? It’s a time-old tradition that never goes out of style, whether frumping around castles in a corset or slopping up drunken pizza at Chateau Dubrow.

Of course, the beauty of the real world is that gossip falls by the wayside the second the conversation ends. The Real Housewives of Orange County, for all intents and purposes, is not the real world. It’s the Bravoverse, where every little thing you say can—and will—be aired for all to see. At some point these ladies just might learn that, though God willing they never do.

Gretchen Rossi spent a decade of her life off TV, and in that time she found a devotion to dressing like a Dallas character while forgetting the power of words. If you tell you

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