Sure, the calendar may still read "2025," but the 2028 presidential primary season will be here before you know it. While big names like Gavin Newsom, Kamala Harris, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez grab all the headlines, there are other Democratic candidates making waves behind the scenes.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of frontrunners for the 2028 Democratic nomination:

Hunter Biden: The perfect heir to the family legacy, only with more F-words and crack.

Kilmar Abrego Garcia: Few candidates have been able to build as much support among the Democratic base as this wife-beating illegal immigrant.

That one bronze statue of the sassy black woman from Times Square: Still smarter than Kamala Harris

Angel Reese: The party could use someone with her track record of beatin

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