I’ll always remember where I was on the day an escalator at the United Nations stalled, forcing my big, strong, perfect-health president, Donald J. Trump, to climb a set of stairs.

It happened on Sept. 23, and my friends in the Republican Party and my fellow pundits at Fox News are convinced – convinced, I tell you! – this was a sinister act of sabotage and one of the worst things that has ever happened in the month of September.

“It does appear to be sabotage,” said Fox News host Jesse Watters.

Yes, this was clearly an act of stair-orism.

Trump's escalator and teleprompter malfunction at UN? SABOTAGE!

And making matters worse, when Trump later delivered his stirring welcome speech in which he told fellow U.N. nations that their countries “are going to hell,” the teleprompter malfunctioned.

“First it was the escalator, then it was the teleprompter,” White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt told Watters. “So when you put all of this together, it doesn’t look like a coincidence to me, and I know that we have people, including the United States Secret Service, who are looking into this to try to get to the bottom of it.”

Yes! I want the Secret Service on this. We must unravel what has to be a nefarious plot by … ummmmm … I’m going to say radical leftists.

Trump decries 'three very sinister events' at the UN

Trump himself posted on social media late Sept. 24: "A REAL DISGRACE took place at the United Nations yesterday — Not one, not two, but three very sinister events!"

The third sinister event, Trump claimed, involved the sound in the auditorium.

Ever calm and reasonable, Trump continued: "No wonder the United Nations hasn’t been able to do the job that they were put in existence to do."

All sensible Americans know that the United Nations' three primary obligations are: proper escalator management; vigilant teleprompter testing; and general audio/visual oversight. I am glad the actual president of the United States of America is making a huge deal about this catastrophe and calling for the arrest of whoever is responsible for this unconscionable minor inconvenience. As he said in his post: "All security tapes at the escalator should be saved, especially the emergency stop button."

The right reacted calmly and in no way crazily to the UN escalator stoppage

Shortly after these very serious things happened at the United Nations, GOP Sen. Mike Lee posted on social media: “Is the UN trying to give us a hint by orchestrating escalator and teleprompter malfunctions? Or is this just random coincidence? Either way, we should #DefundTheUN”

This is all a very normal reaction to an escalator stoppage and not in any way an example of a political party stuck in an endless victimhood. I, for one, can’t remember an escalator ever stopping or breaking down before wokeness came along.

UN says Trump's team is responsible for the escalator and teleprompter

Following an investigation, the U.N. released a statement Sept. 23 saying a videographer recording the U.S. delegation’s arrival was ahead of the president and first lady Melania Trump and “may have inadvertently triggered” a safety function that halted the escalator: “A subsequent investigation, including a readout of the machine's central processing unit, indicated that the escalator had stopped after a built-in safety mechanism on the comb step was triggered at the top of the escalator.”

A U.N. official also said people from Trump’s team were operating the teleprompter that malfunctioned, according to The Associated Press.

To which I say: Sure, U.N., blame the victim. That’s exactly what I would expect an escalator/teleprompter saboteur would say.

We're just lucky everyone survived the UN escalator that stopped working

As Trump said of the near-tragic escalator stoppage during his speech: “If the first lady wasn't in great shape, she would've fallen.”

Fox News senior White House correspondent Peter Doocy noted: “If there was sabotage here, somebody doesn’t know that the president and the first lady aren’t going to fall down, and that would be a big problem.”

It’s clear to me that Republicans and key figures in the right-wing media are laser-focused on the things that matter most to the American people. Our country is under attack by dark forces hell-bent on forcing President Trump to ascend stairs on foot and possibly forget which words to use when he's giving a speech insulting our allies.

To remind Americans how precious functioning escalators are and to memorialize this awful day, I hope the president and his team quickly release a line of understated hats for $39.99 that read: “9/23 - Never Forget!” It's the only reasonable thing to do.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Trump decries 'sinister events' at UN. His escalator stoppage was stair-orism. | Opinion

Reporting by Rex Huppke, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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