Just a few days after being unceremoniously suspended by ABC , supposed comedian Jimmy Kimmel returned as host of his late-night show on Tuesday evening. He recounted his experience of victimization as akin to that suffered by the thought criminals of George Orwell’s dystopian novel 1984 . Kimmel then offered one of his not-so-spontaneous tearful monologues, claiming “it was never my intention to make light of the murder of a young man.”

While his oh-so-rehearsed voice-crack may have sparked applause among his adoring live audience of family members and otherwise bored Hollywood tourists, and while his statement completely ignored why he was suspended in the first place (it was not for making light of murder, but for claiming that Charlie Kirk’s murderer was a member of Make Amer

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