SACRAMENTO, CA - California governor Gavin Newsom is especially concerned that the holiday season could lead to people coming together in joy and brotherly love -- i.e., superspreader events. To fight this, Newsom has enacted a number of strict rules for the holidays and has now gone the extra step of sending police door to door to arrest anyone showing clear signs of violating the law, namely anyone not depressed and alone.

"This holiday season, people could be out spreading cheer," Newsom told the press, "a dangerous and illegal activity that we will crush. If we see any signs of this -- any smiles, any singing, anyone looking like they're enjoying life at all -- they will be locked away for the protection of others."

So far, door-to-door inspections have found most people in complianc

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