Dear Anna,

I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my girlfriend of two years, and we see each other once a week due to other partners and our demanding work schedules. I completely understand that she’s often exhausted when we finally get together, and I’m fine with low-key dates like ordering takeout and watching TV. The problem is that even during our limited time together, she’s often on her phone, scrolling mindlessly instead of actually connecting. When I’ve asked if we can have “quality time” — meaning phones down, real conversation, maybe some physical affection — she gets defensive and acts like I’m criticizing the fact that we only see each other once a week. That’s not what I mean at all. I value whatever time we have; I just want us to actually be present for it. How can I

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