It’s an old showgirl trick to fasten your G-string to your fishnets with seven small hooks. Too many hooks, and you can see the metal on your tights. And when you’ve spent so much time bedazzling your body—with glitter! With feathers! With sequins! With rhinestones of crystal, glass, acrylic, and resin!—do you really want people to stare at your butt (and, yes, everyone will be staring at your butt) and see… metal? Too few hooks, however, and you risk overexposure. And here’s the thing about showgirls: They’re sensual. They’re evocative. But most of all, they’re mysterious. And to be mysterious, you gotta leave something to the imagination.

It’s also an old showgirl trick to put nail polish on the back of cheap jewelry so it doesn’t turn your skin green, and to use wig tape to secure your

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