WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced the Biden Administration's plans to forgive up to $50,000 in student loans for each of the nation's 43 million Americans who have borrowed, emphasizing the student loan forgiveness will be paid in Kohl's Cash.

This loan forgiveness program is being praised as brilliant, as the retailer's coupons have eclipsed the inflation-affected US dollar in value.

"The Kohl's Cash Student Loan Forgiveness Program will lift the heavy load of debt from hard-working Americans who thought it was a good idea to borrow money for a gender studies degree," said Psaki while keeping a straight face. "With the burden of debt lifted - and just in time for the Kohl's Spring Sale-abration Sale™ - millions can now continue their dream careers as Sta

See Full Page