DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor I will call “Sheila.” Every year, Sheila throws an over-the-top New Year’s Eve party. It is not even Halloween yet, and she has already sent the save-the-date invitations. My problem is, I feel like I am boxed in to attending the party as I don’t have my plans yet for New Year’s Eve. I’d like to have the flexibility to be with my family or possibly attend a different type of event.

The party starts at 7 p.m., and by midnight I’m exhausted from standing and trying to make small talk at the large party. I prefer a smaller group where we can chat and socialize easily. Sheila has been known to keep track of people’s comings and goings in and out of the neighborhood, so I can’t hide on New Year’s Eve. I wouldn’t mind going for an hour or two, but more than that is

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