Even when Manchester United aren’t playing they are losing. Little sums up the epic disfunction at Old Trafford more than the bomb squad resurrection happening at clubs across Europe. It turns out the problem was never the cohort of misfits and malcontents shipped out, but those who passed judgment on them.

Rasmus Hojlund, who managed just four goals in 23 Premier League starts last season, has scored three in five matches since joining Napoli on loan. Two of those came in the Champions League this week, gorging on assists provided by Kevin De Bruyne, who likened the Dane to his old Manchester City teammate Erling Haaland. Crikey.

Older observers might have seen more of that post-war battering ram Nat Lofthouse in the goals that put away Sporting CP, the first galloping onto an exquisite

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