Key points

Opposing drives can be balanced, not denied.

Human development theories point toward integrating dual perspectives.

Practicing synthesis deepens integrity and aligns us with our values.

My client, Charles, faced a difficult dilemma. He had persuaded his friend Jason to leave his job and join him at his startup. But, nearly a year later, Jason wasn’t meeting expectations, and the board was pressing Charles to fire him. Charles felt caught between loyalty and responsibility: “I convinced Jason to take this risk. I’d feel awful letting him go,” he admitted. But he also recognized, “This isn’t working.”

To explore this tension, I guided Charles through a Gestalt “empty chair” exercise. In one chair, he voiced the case for strength—his posture upright, his tone firm: “Enough is

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