DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband died unexpectedly three months ago. It was a shock and I am not OK.

But sometimes I have to go grocery shopping. As I start to move around in the world again, people stop me frequently and ask how I’m doing.

This is difficult to answer, and I understand they are trying to be kind. But then they often go on to share with me painful stories of the spouse, sibling, child or dear friend they lost, and how hard it was for them.

I think this is an effort to show solidarity or demonstrate that I’m not alone in my grief. But it ends up with me shouldering the burden of gathering heartbreaking, sometimes traumatic, stories as I go through my day. This near-constant reminder of how unhappy people are inside is not making things easier; it’s making me want to go back

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