Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here .

Dear Prudence,

When dorms closed in 2020, I was a freshman with nowhere to go. I moved in with my older sister and her new boyfriend, “Patrick.” Patrick owned a home with a spare bedroom, and it seemed to make sense. He kissed me after I’d been living there for a week, and we had an affair that lasted nearly two months. I felt horrible the whole time, for betraying my sister and for being excited that he was attracted to me, and he was my first everything. I felt so guilty and horrible and twisted that I moved out, and then he immediately ended it.

I was sad even though I had no right to be. He’s sent me late night texts over the years, but I always ignore them. He tried to kiss me last year at a family event and I

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