How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 30-year-old man and have been seeing Justin, a 33-year-old man, for about a month. On our first date, we ended up spending the night together. We didn’t have full, penetrative sex, but we did other things (I blew him, he gave me a handjob). We haven’t even gotten handsy with each other since that night. Not for lack of trying on my part, but he just hasn’t seemed into it.

I spent the day with him this past Saturday, and when I left his house that night, I said to him, “You know, we’re gonna have to have sex at some point.” He said, “We have. I’ve not been inside you, but we’ve done stuff.” He even tried to lie to me and said that we’v

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