WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol™ may have stopped broadcasting on prime-time television, but sources reveal the committee is alive and well behind closed doors with an audience of stuffed animals and action figures they arranged in chairs.

"The committee holds hearings almost daily," explained a congressional aide while adjusting a Cabbage Patch doll on a leather chair. "I have to rearrange the seats constantly to reflect a 'living' audience. Rep Kinzinger is adamant that the proceedings appear as realistic as possible."

According to sources, witnesses are often called to testify before the committee. Stuffed orangutans are often used to represent members of the Trump family. The committee has also seen fit to sub

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