WASHINGTON, DC - With new staff being added to his flourishing campaign every week, Joe Biden's advisory staff has devised a new guideline for women on the team: wearing backward wigs.

Campaign advisor Shelly Turlock explained, "While Joe is known for his 'come up behind you and affectionately smell your hair,' signature greeting, those videos keep showing up online and turning into video-montages. We've tried to tell him to stop, he just won't. We also tried telling staff to turn and back away as soon as they felt him close, but he was just too sneaky." Turlock says they even tried putting mirrors all over the campaign offices so that everyone had a complete 360 awareness of their surroundings at all times. "He still managed to sneak a sniff. He's very good," Turlock said.

Turlock says

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